My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
