So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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