So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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