My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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