and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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