if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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