I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
