Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
