Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
