all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just high enough for therapy.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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