The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
