I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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