Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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