Tell her she can't have a vagina
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
