there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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