Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
