Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
