new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
