He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
did you just send me my own nude
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
