she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
