Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Randomize
