No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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