He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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