Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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