a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
