Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
