You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
