How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There r osticjed everywhere
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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