Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
