So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
