Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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