White coat. Heels.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
