Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
