an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
