i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
