Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I will pee on everything he values.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
