The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
