Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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