is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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