you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
