i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just forgot I was standing up.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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