so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
