Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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