i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We had sex on a dog bed..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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