it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
