i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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