try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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