so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
