Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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