i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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